Let's Be Honest...

Transitioning from two kids to three has rocked my world in a way I never expected. For me it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I struggle on a daily basis balancing all that needs to be done. I just honestly feel so overwhelmed.

And it doesn't help that my third baby is what can be classified as a "high needs baby". He is the cutest but boy oh boy when he wants something you know it. He demands it. He nurses constantly and has no idea what to do with a pacifier. Feeding him solids is a serious game of target practice while he is trying to take the spoon away because he is more interested in that then his food. He is loud...oh so LOUD. Sleeping through the night is not on his agenda and a schedule means nothing to him.

But he does make me laugh because as demanding as he is, he is sweet and silly. He is strong and determined. He steals my heart while sleeping in my arms. He is intense and aware and honestly I think half the battle is he is smart and knows what is going on and he will let me know when its not to his liking.

It has been a test for me in every area of my life. Never have I ever wanted to sleep more LOL.  Going out in public I can sometimes feel like a spectacle as I am wearing Reid and Mia is breaking down because Tripp got to put the yogurt in the cart or we are bumping into things LOL like seriously we are a show! So many people smile at me and comment, "you got your hands full." Which I reply with, " I sure do! I'm outnumbered! 😂😂😂 " I always wonder what they are really thinking!

Six months into having three kids I would say I'm still adjusting. I have not found my groove quite yet. Some weeks are better than others. Of course with three kids there are many moments of joy that make the chaos worth the struggle. And in those moments a tinge of guilt will hit me and I will silently pray to God.

Always ready for rebukement in these moments He reminds me He is gentle. He holds me in His arms and shows me grace, love, and understanding. He knows I am only human and He asks me to rest in Him. It is not always easy. And many times I fail. But when I reach out He never fails.

 At night now when I am feeling overwhelmed by the night time nursing sessions I turn on a soothing recording of scriptures. Within minutes I'm knocked out.

Its 9:18 pm as I write this. Using the time after the kids go to bed to write and queit my brain...and wouldn't you know my Reid Poo has woken up. He lies here nursing and sleeping in my arms. I'm reminded these moments won't last forever. And for a moment all is peaceful. This is a moment from God. Allowing me this precious gift although today was rough.

Knowing he won't always be a baby I'm going to sit here and enjoy it.